As most of you know, I am heading to Cambodia for three weeks on Tuesday. Honestly I don’t have the words to describe what is going on inside of my head right now. Well, I could explain my mental to-do list that I have to constantly go over because I don’t want to forget it. But really, I’m here to share with you something God has been showing me over the past month.
When I travel, I change. I change a lot. When I go somewhere new, something happens to my heart; it gets a new stain.
During my first year in Taiwan, I met this little girl named Jane. She left the first stain on my heart. Jane was little, but she represents so much to me. That trip was three years ago, but the stain remains. And I hope it never lifts. That particular stain taught me about unconditional love. Jane hardly knew me, but she trusted me enough to leap into my arms and catch her weight. Even though I probably will never see Jane again, I still love her and think about her because she truly has left a stain on my heart.
My second trip to Taiwan was just a memorable. Two moments stand out to me as new stains: staring out the train window and sitting in the hot classroom next to a little boy named Rick. I remember feeling completely content with where I was. No desire to be anywhere else. I believe those moments are little tastes of heaven. Don’t get me wrong, I long for heaven, I long to be with my Savior face to face, but I also believe He put me here for a reason and for a time period. Those moments of perfect peace, I was alone (yet surrounded by people) with God, resting in my Lovers arms. Missions trips continually stain my heart.
And that’s what I’m heading into on Tuesday. Another trip across the globe to experience and taste God’s goodness in new ways. Everything will be new. I have no idea how this will all play out. We are heading into uncharted waters. And while we’ve done our research, spent time in preparation and we aren’t doing this alone, it’s all new for our hearts. Physically and mentally I know what I’m getting into (sorta), but emotional and spiritually, I have no idea. But I do know this. I Am is there. THE I Am.
So what do I expect for Cambodia? I expect to be wrecked by God. I expect that I will not come home the same person who left Blacksburg three weeks earlier. I expect to have new stains covering my heart and I expect that I will leave a piece of me behind in Cambodia. I expect my desire to serve over seas for the rest of my life will be stronger than ever. I expect God to work in me in new and exciting and possibly painful ways like never before.
Through waters uncharted my soul will embark
I’ll follow Your voice straight into the dark
And if from the course You intend
Speak to the sails of my wandering heart
Like the stars
Will align my voyage
And remind me where I’ve been
And where I am going
Lost in the shallows amidst fear and fog
Your truth is the compass that points me back north
My soul’s trusted Lord
All my allegiance is rightfully Yours
If you want to keep up with Carly and I, head over to our blog for the trip. AND SUBSCRIBE!!! You’ll get super fun updates from us and lots of cute pictures (duh, Carly will be in them!) https://missionsincambodia.wordpress.com